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How do you deal with haters?

Fri Jun 13, 2014, 4:25 PM by behindinfinity:iconbehindinfinity:


I got this as a question on my Tumblr, and I felt I could share my thoughts here as well because it seems it's something a lot of people can relate to. I hope this comes to helpful to any of you guys reading.

I’m certain there are people who dislike me. Some I come to know through whisperings because I have eyes everyyyyywheeeeere.

However, I don’t feel the need to acknowledge them or do anything about it unless they are causing any real harm, especially to people I care about.


There is a popular quote that I like referencing for this topic, which gets the message across in a charming way:

You can be a juicy, ripe peach and there’s still going to be someone who doesn’t like peaches, so you can either submit to someone’s criticism of you, or you can get on with the business of being your own amazing self who attracts other like-minded people that appreciate you.” — Dita Von Teese

I used to be affected if I found out someone didn’t like me, but I’ve come to learn that people can have very irrational reasons for hating someone.

Sometimes it is simply because your personalities and tastes are not compatible. And that’s fine and normal. 

Other times, they can take a part of you and twist it and build up their own negative perception and convince themselves that they are right to hate you. But it doesn’t mean that what they think about you is true. Their image of you that they force upon themselves could be due to their own insecurities.

Although I sometimes say this jokingly, I find that in certain cases it’s not just simply “Haters gonna hate.” I also dislike it when people jump to the conclusion, “They just hate you because they’re jealous.” While it can be true at times, it’s not the ultimate answer. Let’s be real here. It is not surprising for people to feel a sense of dislike towards someone who is truly being a terrible human being. Did you do something that merits you being considered a terrible human being? If the answer is no, then good.


Here’s what you can do: If someone openly throws some harsh words at you, take a deep breath and try to objectively consider what they have to say. Maybe you can ask yourself things like:

:bulletorange: Are they actually trying to offer constructive criticism but are  lacking in tact and eloquence? If they seem interesting or intelligent enough, try to converse with them to understand. Maybe you’ll learn something new. If they are just bigots or trolls, pity them for a second, don’t dignify them with an answer or any more of your time, and move on. Be the better person.

:bulletorange: Are they pointing out something you may have done wrong that you weren’t aware of? Do you think they are right? If they are, be humble enough to consider that you might have something to improve on. If they’re not, then just don’t mind them. If someone is really set on disliking you, you’re the last person they will allow to change their minds.


These are just general ideas, because it always depends on the context. But in the end, what’s important is that if you truly believe you did nothing wrong, then disregard them and walk away with your head held high. Hopefully you aren’t a sociopath.

You can’t please every single person in the world. And that’s okay. The people whose happiness and opinions should matter the most are your own, and those of the people you care about and care for you. If you focus on being your own fantastic self, you can feel sorry for your haters because they lost the opportunity to get to know the wonderful person you are.

Jin!

deviantID

behindinfinity
Jin
Artist | Varied
Philippines
Hi, I'm Jin.
I like painting,
I enjoy taking pictures,
I'm happiest on rainy days,
and I'm not very good at introductions.

:facebook: Facebook: facebook.com/Jin.behindinfinity
:twitter: Twitter: @skybluedays
:camera: Instagram: @jinjoson
:snowflake: Art blog: jinjoson.com
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:iconmicaelamaldotti:
MicaelaMaldotti Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014  Professional Artist
you know studio ghibli?
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:icongetsugakitsune:
GetsugaKitsune Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Some idiot stole your art: deidarasasori123.deviantart.co…
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:iconiamlandlovecandy:
IamLandlovecandy Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Hobbyist
Hello everyone, this is L. And I am happy to announce that I am planing to make an ask L game here on deviantart. Just comment on this page and ask me any type of questions you like. I'd be delighted to answer them. 

-L
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:iconquirkythequirk:
QuirkyTheQuirk Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
*-* This account has broken the fourth wall of anime amazingness.
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:iconshoko-senpie:
shoko-senpie Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2014
Were! Were! Were do you get you contacts?!!?!?!?!?
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