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9,000,000 milestone +I mean this with all my heart

Journal Entry: Sun Dec 11, 2011, 5:53 AM
Several years worth of cheese

Somehow, this silly page has hit 9 million views!

Just to be absolutely clear, I do not think the views make me any better than anyone else. I mean, I'm sure some of those are from people who don't even like me. But I guess my point is that it's crazy to imagine that this page has been opened up that many times, and I can't help wondering where all these hits have come from. And I just feel so grateful that a select few people in those millions have come to be irreplaceable friends to me.

It's been a wild ride with all of you guys through all this time. To me this isn't just a page where I simply showcase my artwork or the cosplay photos my friends and I come up with. This site has opened up so many opportunities for me, and has introduced me to some of the most wonderful people I've met in my life.

It's been a journey, and my interactions with the people here have taught me more than I can express.

Apart from that, one thing I absolutely did not expect in my wildest dreams was that this page would help save some people's lives.

How could a page that mainly revolves around cosplay with some photography and illustration do that? I myself could not imagine how at first. In all honesty, every single time I receive a note or an email from someone just thanking me for sharing bits of my life on my journal and how much it helped them, I break into tears and it takes me forever to respond because I feel like nothing I write would be enough.

I've got a lot of things running through my head, and I'm going to try to articulate them with the help of words from someone who is a hero to me, Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance. The indescribable things I feel in my heart, he just has a way of perfectly putting them into words.

The fact that so many you saw something in my work, in my writing, in all the silly things that my friends do — It strengthens my belief that anything can be art. Anything can have meaning. Anything can be a source of inspiration. You also made us feel an additional sense of purpose and keep giving us hope that the world is a nicer place than we thought.

With illustration and photography (though I feel I need to produce more) is something that's more relatively understandable. But I'd like to talk about the aspect of cosplay — so many people will say that they don't understand what the point is, or what good it can do.

Here are some of the things it has done for me:

:bulletblue: Wanting to create proper tributes to series that I love has motivated me to improve my skills as a photographer and visual artist, and keep learning. That driving force is just so much stronger when you're working on something you really love, with people you love.

:bulletblue: It motivated me to do my best to create images that pull out emotions and encourage others to feel them. The series I like best (and choose to cosplay) earn their place in my heart by making me feel something deeply — happiness, sadness, determination, inspiration, and much more. Often I hope to share these feelings with my viewers, to remind them of why they share in the fandom, or to persuade them to pick up the series at hand so that it might do some good for them them too.

:bulletblue: Writing descriptions that accompany the images I post lets me reach out to people. For example, my Le Petit Prince photos allowed me to share why that book has changed me significantly, and encouraged other people to pick up the book. Many have written back to me to thank me for introducing that story to them because it changed them forever too.

:bulletblue: Simply sharing the silly things my friends and I do during photoshoots or conventions has made people laugh when they need it. To be able to laugh and smile is a precious thing that others take for granted sometimes, but I'm just thankful that we're able to evoke that from our readers.

:bulletblue: I've learned that just because you're doing something for fun, doesn't mean it's automatically meaningless. I think you just really have to dig deep and figure out your reason for doing things, and it'll lead to other life lessons which piece together to make a big beautiful picture.

:bulletblue: Through it I have met the most amazing individuals I otherwise would not have encountered. I'm thankful for them everyday.

One of the things that gets to me the most is when people tell me that my friends and I make them believe in true friendship, reassure them that they deserve to be happy, and make them feel braver to be themselves. I hope everyone will keep those thoughts in their hearts.

Me and my friends in Tux Team, we always ALWAYS find it so unbelievable when people come up to us to say how much they admire our group. Our usual reaction is to look at each other and jokingly ask, "Why?!" We're the first to admit we are far from the best when it comes to craftsmanship. But that's not really what's important to us. If we are to be looked up to, we always hope it's for our spirit and friendship and what we stand for.

You make me feel that as long as you hold a strong belief for something, carry a lot of love in your heart, and go out and sing that to the world, people who feel the same will be drawn towards you.

For anyone who is feeling depressed or hurt or rejected

A lot of you have written to me to say that you open up my journal especially on days you need cheering up. Apart from making you laugh, I want to share something that will hopefully stay with you whenever you feel like you're at a low point of your life.

(Click here to watch: My Chemical Romance - Gerard Way's Inspirational Quotes)

I encourage everyone to watch this video of quotes from Gerard, whether you like My Chemical Romance or not. This is why they are my heroes.

It's for everyone who's ever felt depressed

or hurt

or rejected

or treated like an outsider

for being different.

Some of Gerard's words from the video:

:bulletblue: Nothing is worth hurting yourself over. NOTHING is worth taking your life over.

:bulletblue: The difference we wanna make is, number one, to make these kids know that they're not alone, that they're actually not that messed up and that they can do whatever they want… And really just to get people to get over their stuff so they can live.

:bulletblue: It's more important to keep yourself alive, there's nothing worth even hurting yourself over… It's normal, it's completely normal to be depressed.

:bulletblue: I mean, we started this band thinking the world was extremely ugly. And I think now we realize that it's more beautiful than we thought.

:bulletblue: So if anything, you can take it from a guy and his band who used to think everything was shit. And we've found that it's not.

And from me:

You are never, ever alone. There are people out there who will understand you. You just have to reach out. Don't shut yourself out, don't take it out on other people by hurting them, and definitely never take your own life. You just have to keep living, and be kind, and be yourself — and you'll find that despite how terrible the world can be, it can be really beautiful too.


Open up your heart. You might get hurt along the way because it's a fact of life that bad people exist, but eventually you'll find at least one true friend who will make it all worth it.

As I've said before: It's okay to be you. It's okay to be weird.

Other people's opinion of you shouldn't matter. Don't miss out on opportunities to do things you love just because you don't want other people saying mean things about you.

It's your life and your time, and it's YOU who has to live with the consequences of your decisions so make them for yourself. You should always strive to make yourself happy over all others.

The fine print on the above quote is that you should also be able to differentiate when people are just giving you shit to bring you down, or if people who actually care about you are trying to give you advice to be a better person. You don't give your friends the middle finger. You work on issues together. Sometimes it can hurt to hear what you've been doing wrong, but real friends stab each other at the front, and with the best and purest of intentions.

You will find people out there who will love you for who you are. They will accept your imperfections, your shortcomings, your mistakes.

Be yourself and be kind. Things will get better. They did for us, and they can for you.

We also owe you our thanks

Some people seem to see me and my friends as a group of happy-go-lucky miscreants without a care in the world.

But I think the reason my friends are so kind, and the reason we embrace having fun so much is that we know all too well what it's like to be hurt, and what it's like to be depressed. We've been there. Some of us are still dealing with it. Our lives are far from perfect, we're still human and make our share of mistakes, and we continue to work on ourselves one day at a time. Life doesn't have to be perfect for it to be beautiful.

The reason I share the things we do with you guys is to remind you to laugh, and to give hope to those who need it that you can make things better.

A lot of you have come to know me through this dA account, and through my journal posts particularly. One of the reasons I started blogging was just to remind myself of the things I have to be thankful for — the wonderful people in my life, and how much our silly adventures make me smile and laugh, and how they make life worth living. I needed that to look back on whenever I'd feel teetering on the edge of depression.

Something that came as an unexpected blessing was how I received letters from people saying how somehow I had saved them. That my friends and I had given them something to believe in.

To hear that is more than I could have ever hoped to get in return for blogging. On behalf of my friends, I'd also like to say THANK YOU to you guys who have stuck with us and believed in us and inspired us to be better human beings. Your faith means more to us than you know. More than I can express. From the bottom, the top, and the rest of the mushy insides of my heart — thank you ever so much.

For what it's worth, I'm here

If you think I might be able to help you with something related to this post, send me a note, or send me a message through Tumblr Ask. (On Tumblr you can ask anonymously, or I can answer privately if you request it.) It takes me a while to reply sometimes, but I will do my best.


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  • Mood: Tender
  • Listening to: My Chemical Romance - SING
  • Reading: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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Add a Comment:
Kikubi Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011  Professional General Artist
I just happened to be listening to Helena while I read this... haha
zamography Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
I couldn't help but get teary eyed reading this.
reading through this journal, memories kept flooding in. Good, not so good, but mostly good memories with friends and family. It inspired me so much and I thank you for that. :)
MysticFireBlood Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
There's not enough words in any lanunage to say what all you feel.

Here's a simple phase. Thank you.

Keep doing what you're doing and don't stop.
cranberryeleven Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
I just fell so much more in love with you and your friends.
We're so lucky to have people like you guys live in this world.
All hail. :)
TomatoBisque Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
As usual you've brought me to tears ;w; I am so happy to have witnessed over the past couple years your posts on this site<3 they give me hope. Thank you Jin :heart:
naulakha-artemis08 Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011  Student General Artist
You deserve it. Really. Congratulations.
Really. Thanks to you guys.
I dunno what to say. I wanna cry.
ShaeWarner Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
IT'S OVER 9000!!!!! Love your work <3
scarredblue Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
Congratulations for reaching this far.
Sui31 Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011  Student General Artist
And im one pf the million fans of your team! I really lookup to your group! I really find inspirations in you guys! QwQ MORE POWER TO YOU GUYS! :iconlovesplz: i hope to see your team again sometime! :happybounce:
Phoenix-Soar Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
:heart: <-- sums up everything I feel for you guys. :)
2skitty2 Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011
Thank you so much. Today was exactly the right day for me to read this. So thank you <3
benikokoro Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Student General Artist
utterly amazing. that a person can be so successful in what they do and still remain grounded and attached to thier roots is really inspiring. thankyou. ;m;
WhiteCrowMoon Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
It's funny that you bring up Gerard way as someone that has helped during a depression. I went through a fugue when I was a teenager when I had many a suicidal thought, and he kept me alive too.

Recently, I've found another song that is quite inspirational as well. It's the song Universe by Miyavi, and I have a friend who listens to it every day to lift her spirits and feel better about herself. These [link] are the lyrics, and you can find it on youtube as well.
AmaMyoka Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
I wish I could meet u in real life lol but ty ty ty ty for sharing ur very kind and inspiring words I swear I had to mop up my tears from the keyboard lol this journal touched me where it counts (and no dirty business intended) keep doing wut u're doing and u will make more ppl happy I kno im one of them :D I cant wait for the next installment of ur funny antics
bobapanda Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
Thank you Jin!
FoxSaysRawr Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
I just cried reading this ;W;~
yokonami Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Student Digital Artist
You and your friends have been an inspiration to me in so many different ways - creatively, emotionally, humanistically - and I wanted to thank you as well.

I came to your profile seeing amazingly beautiful cosplays, and found amazingly beautiful people behind them <3

Just keep doing what you're doing, and we'll all try to be ourselves and do our part to help others as well. I hope you all have a wonderful day, and good wishes for those of you that are struggling with something of your own right now :3
yokonami Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Oh! and I forgot to mention that you've totally gotten me back into MCR. I was a fan years ago, then kinda got out of it, but all of your fandom has made me actually listen to Danger Days and remember why I was a fan ^^
soujiro7keita Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
First time reading your journal Jin~ And I suddenly feel inspiration! <3! I was always inspired by your artworks & cosplays~ but reading this journal, I noticed you do write something about each artwork you have~ & they are very inspiring thoughts that you write aside from your arts <3!
MercuriaObscura Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
I cried when I read this entry and I cried even more watching the video. Thank you so much for everything.

There is a beautiful big moon in the sky right now, high above the glitteringy skyline of the city between the tree branches, and I think I admire this picture so much because of what I just heard and read.

Your works always make me smile, or laugh, but now I cried because I was so touched, because I felt so adressed by what you said. You don't know me and I almost never comment (because I find it so hard to comment on something so awesome), but now I just wanted to let you know how much I admire you.
todachios Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
evanescent-silence Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
Thank you.
Nami15 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
There is never enough ways for me to tell you how much I love reading your inspirational journals. I am always waiting for a picture or a journal from you, hoping to see what other hilarity you and the Tux Team will bring to my life. I have serious issues with mood swings because, honestly, right now I am not really all that happy, even though I should be. I'm working hard on believing that I am truly blessed. I truly believe God has shown me to you so that I can take a part of your wisdom and grow into a stronger person. I've never been the nicest person really and I was always told I was a mean person by my mother and sisters. But, I really hated being called that and when I started to read your journals, I realized there was a way to be kind. I'd never really known how, no one really showed me, but when I started to read your journals (and a few other events happened) I realized, it wasn't so hard. So ever since I was a teenager, I've been doing my best, I don't know if I'm better. I hope I am, I'll keep trying! And I'm even opening up, I'm showing my more important writings to people (mostly friends and family) and I'm submitting them into contests. ^_^

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart and hope I can follow the Tux Team as long as your keep this journal and always have fun! :D And thanks for helping to bring out my real happiness and not the stuff I plastered on to make people believe I was fine.

Thank you again!

:hug: I hope this finds you and yours well!

P.S. I listened to My Chemical Romance a little before I met you! Now I've been on the hunt for all their tunes. :D Thank you. ^o^
MajorasMasks Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Professional Artisan Crafter
There is something somewhat related I would like to suggest: Natsuki Takaya's manga.
They are quite deep and deal with emotions like the ones you talked about in this journal. :)
Katakikun Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Student General Artist
You Legend~
nekomiKasai Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
simpleoOgirl Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
thank you for everything , thank you for helping us see everything around us :heart:
seseostara Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Frazzled-Niya Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
wow that is craziness! :) But so awesome, well amazing more so.
Hisui-Takarano Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
a worthy journal for such a milestone. congratz on all the hits and keep those photos and journals coming they are awesome ^o^
YumiMaYumi-chan Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you :aww:
deviantART muro drawing Comment Drawing
aixkiraixjisatsu Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
You and the rest of the Tux Team are in the unique position of being both a prominent figure in the dA community, and someone who seems accessible to people who might have a hard time looking to celebrities or other famous figures for advice and help. It's really awesome that you and the rest of TT are so down to earth and aware---you guys rock. Even though I've more or less fallen entirely out of cosplay, I still keep you on my follow list because the way you articulate yourself has less to do with cosplay than it does to do with just... the everyday experience of living, and I think that's awesome.

I'm probably reading too much into it, but I appreciate how cool you (and the rest of Tux Team) are. Keep it up!
wildquaker Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
Some few years even before I started cosplaying, I've heard already so much about you and the rest of Team Tux. At first glance, your cosplays are both amazing and inspiring. But I never thought there will be a more deeper inspiration within me that is still here up to this day. My hesitance with cosplaying only ended up of me being awkward and in some cases, misunderstood. But then I broke all bounds when I decided to give it a try. I have all of you to thank for that. Thank you so much for teaching me (though not directly) to express myself not only with cosplaying but expressing myself as who I am and what I can be. Thank you so much for giving me the strength to make my life more colorful and to allow myself to have more friends and to hopefully teach others to do the same.

Cheesiness aside, I wish I can post a photo of myself doing "The Usagi". :)
karatechick13 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
This journal really shows just why so many people admire and look up to you (including me). You're not only a talented cosplay but you are a beautiful person. I don't mean just physically (but you really do look good ^.^) but inside yourself, you really are beautiful and kind. This is why people can open up to you and why you're loved so much. So in return I say thank you for all you've done and shared, and I'm sure that there are MANY more out there who would agree with me. Thank you.
kuricurry Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Professional General Artist
Your existance inspires most of us here.
And those 9 million lives that you guys have touched will always be better than it was.

And showing us that cosplay can reach out,
And the craft is still worth it!

...I someday, somehow...
Return the favor of all the goodness your words bring.
You are one amazing person, surrounded by great people!
Thank you for existing.
Trixus Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow.. 9 million. I'm not too surprised though. Your deviations are amazing and not only that, I'd just like to add you're a great person. Even though I don't know you well (Hope I don't sound creepy or anything) I can just tell.

Congratulations, you deserve it.

And those quotes amongst the journal are great, really inspiring (:
suzunechan Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
Jin, you're one of the most inspiring people I have ever come across. No wonder you've saved lives and been admired by so many people. I hope you can always keep on doing what you love best :3
batangbatugan Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
This is why you are one of my idols. I know you don't like being dubbed as such (bear with me for now :XD: ), but there is no other word I can think of. Not just in the hobby, but as a person. I think of myself as a generally cheerful happy kind of guy, but your positivity beats me out by a mile.

Admittedly, thanks to you I've learned to treasure the few friends I do have even more. Also, the appreciation of the little things in life. Not many people believe in these these and I always thought that it's just something you read in motivators and stuff. Thanks to you, I know these values work.

See ya in 10,000,000! =)
miacchi Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
wow.. nine million. you're amazing.
TheLastQuincy Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011
Congrats you guys! You deserve it! Wonderful words, Jin! XD
chaos-shadow Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011
Congratulations Jin. <3 You have a really humble attitude with a real down-to-earth feel that really just lets people understand. Everybody is a person and they are not perfect but they make do with what they have and find the joys.

With that being said, congratulations on your 9M, and happy DA anniversary!
animefreakoutgirl Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Near tears......
KurayamiNoTenshi Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011
...Thank you.
I can't say things are horrible for me at this moment, but I have gone through times where I just thought...nothing was worth anything anymore. I do admit to thinking that way still at times, but your journals have always brought some light into my life; brought joy into it and made me feel better. Out of the hundreds of people I watch on Da, I look forward to anything you and your friends do. It made life seem better.

So...for that, I want to thank you and your friends.
I wish..I could express it better...but..thank you so much. <3
Hikaridedarius Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011  Professional Interface Designer
Awesome, keep the goodwork.
Greetings from Tokyo
Toboe Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011
<3 thank you for your inspiration <3
pinksoulsakura Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
you really deserve the 9M+ views! you are just amazing in so many ways! and congratulations for that!
ivoryalexandriaal Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Love your posts. :heart: You and your friends have brought me lots of joy and have inspired me the 3 years I've been on here. Thank you~! ^^
viennidemizerable Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Oh... Jin... :tears:
What a beautiful blog entry... :love: :love:




Kynkyn Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011  Professional Interface Designer
You and your friends have set a really good example and inspiration to everyone who are visiting your page and have known you personally. All the things you shared and experience guided us and inspired us all~

Tux Team keep it up~ :dance:
lazyeight Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
naiyak ako yak >.<

i'm thankful and happy i'm part of that 9M and friendship.
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