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June 13
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How do you deal with haters?

Fri Jun 13, 2014, 4:25 PM by behindinfinity:iconbehindinfinity:


I got this as a question on my Tumblr, and I felt I could share my thoughts here as well because it seems it's something a lot of people can relate to. I hope this comes to helpful to any of you guys reading.

I’m certain there are people who dislike me. Some I come to know through whisperings because I have eyes everyyyyywheeeeere.

However, I don’t feel the need to acknowledge them or do anything about it unless they are causing any real harm, especially to people I care about.


There is a popular quote that I like referencing for this topic, which gets the message across in a charming way:

You can be a juicy, ripe peach and there’s still going to be someone who doesn’t like peaches, so you can either submit to someone’s criticism of you, or you can get on with the business of being your own amazing self who attracts other like-minded people that appreciate you.” — Dita Von Teese

I used to be affected if I found out someone didn’t like me, but I’ve come to learn that people can have very irrational reasons for hating someone.

Sometimes it is simply because your personalities and tastes are not compatible. And that’s fine and normal. 

Other times, they can take a part of you and twist it and build up their own negative perception and convince themselves that they are right to hate you. But it doesn’t mean that what they think about you is true. Their image of you that they force upon themselves could be due to their own insecurities.

Although I sometimes say this jokingly, I find that in certain cases it’s not just simply “Haters gonna hate.” I also dislike it when people jump to the conclusion, “They just hate you because they’re jealous.” While it can be true at times, it’s not the ultimate answer. Let’s be real here. It is not surprising for people to feel a sense of dislike towards someone who is truly being a terrible human being. Did you do something that merits you being considered a terrible human being? If the answer is no, then good.


Here’s what you can do: If someone openly throws some harsh words at you, take a deep breath and try to objectively consider what they have to say. Maybe you can ask yourself things like:

:bulletorange: Are they actually trying to offer constructive criticism but are  lacking in tact and eloquence? If they seem interesting or intelligent enough, try to converse with them to understand. Maybe you’ll learn something new. If they are just bigots or trolls, pity them for a second, don’t dignify them with an answer or any more of your time, and move on. Be the better person.

:bulletorange: Are they pointing out something you may have done wrong that you weren’t aware of? Do you think they are right? If they are, be humble enough to consider that you might have something to improve on. If they’re not, then just don’t mind them. If someone is really set on disliking you, you’re the last person they will allow to change their minds.


These are just general ideas, because it always depends on the context. But in the end, what’s important is that if you truly believe you did nothing wrong, then disregard them and walk away with your head held high. Hopefully you aren’t a sociopath.

You can’t please every single person in the world. And that’s okay. The people whose happiness and opinions should matter the most are your own, and those of the people you care about and care for you. If you focus on being your own fantastic self, you can feel sorry for your haters because they lost the opportunity to get to know the wonderful person you are.

Jin!
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:iconmauia88:
Mauia88 Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014
This is great advice! I'll pass it on to others. ^^
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:iconai-chan13:
Ai-chan13 Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2014  Student General Artist
I take your words for advice *bows deeply* and despite the seriousness of what you are saying, I can't help but look at the colours of the caption, Orange and Blue? *the fangirl in me squeal* ahahaha sorry sorry, just trying to lift up the mood a bit.

Anyhoo, personally I am happy to know that they are people like you. Doing what you do and enjoying them really made me happy at times ^^ so keep up the good work and I will keep cheering you on 
Reply
:iconprincesstutianna:
princesstutianna Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2014
My kokoro... I needed to hear this Jin-san. Salamat po <3 never stop being the happy, funny, optimistic person we all love :)
Reply
:iconcrimsonhana3:
crimsonhana3 Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
well said! 
Reply
:iconprofessorpat:
professorpat Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2014
it looks like the tumblr email/topic on hatin touched on everything pretty good. Everything is 50/50, yin and yang, up or down, half say white, half say black, on just about any issue under the sun. So if your really good at something, say cosplay, and you have a large fan base, there will inevitably be those who look at you and are going to be negative or say something stupid. I know because I used to be like this, now I just realize life is to short, and you Infinity are very gifted, rich with creativity and talent and it is a real joy looking at your work. Just live your life, just like the song tells us!
Reply
:iconrocket-child:
rocket-child Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014
I like the way you handle the situation.  You can't control the way people treat you, but you can control the way you react to them
Reply
:icon11uehara11:
11Uehara11 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Nice ! ^^
Reply
:iconasiandolly:
Asiandolly Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I agree on so many levels with you!
Reply
:iconbbchild:
BBChild Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2014   Traditional Artist
This.  Is.  Amazing.  <3
Reply
:iconegyptianstargazer:
EgyptianStargazer Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2014  Professional Filmographer
Great advice :) This should be posted everywhere.
Reply
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